Friendships and Haircut...two bits....

As a Salvation Army Officer, we move around quite a bit.  One of my concerns after a move is always about my children.  Will they like their new school?  Will they find activities that they enjoy?  The big question is:  Will they make new friends?  The answer to that has always been yes, in our experience.   Praise the Lord!  It is always around this time, however that I begin to feel a little lonely myself.  I have always enjoyed having friends in my life.  These women have gotten me through some pretty rough stuff!  But when the kids start school, and we begin to settle in to routine, I have found myself again longing for friendships.  I am sure I am not the only one who feels like this so I thought I would put together a few ways to find friends in your new appointment.

Your Corps:  Now this may seem like common sense, but sometimes this gets neglected. We have great women in our corps.  Get to know them and let them get to know you!!! 

Divisional and Territorial Events:  If you are moving to a new division, make sure you get to know your fellow officers.  They will be the ones that you call on to ask about policies, and will know the heartbeat of the division.  Camp assignments, divisional local officer trainings, and soldiers rallies are great events to attend.  Some divisions even offer a New Officers Orientation.  This is a great way for you to get to know the divisional staff officers and employees.

Civic Clubs:  As an officer we have the opportunity to meet others in our community who have a desire to help those that are in need.  A civic club can help connect you to people who not only are great partnerships in ministry and social work but in friendship as well.

Your Neighbors: Our kids are pretty outgoing so that has helped a lot.  They are not shy about inviting themselves into the houses, but we have a rule that they are not allowed to enter into a house until we have met their parents.  This serves two purposes.  One of course is safety!  We wouldn't want our children to go into a home of a stranger or someone we didn't trust.  Number two, it gives us the opportunity to meet others! 

Your Child's Sports Team:  Thing 1 loves baseball.  With at least one practice and one or two games a week, we had the opportunity to talk to the parents that are cheering their kids on.  I met one of my dear friends at those baseball practices and struck a friendship that lasted way longer than the baseball season!

Birthday Parties:  Thing 2 was invited to two birthday parties this weekend.  Because of a conflict we were only able to attend one.  It was really awkward at first honestly, going to a party and not knowing anyone, but I knew it was important for me to put myself out there!  Don't be afraid to step out and meet new people.  No one has to know that you are using the party as an excuse to talk to other moms! 

Your Child's School:  This has worked well for me in the past and probably the number one way to meet women who are at the same point in life as you are.  You automatically have some things in common as far as your kids go.  Volunteering for events in the class or at the school also gives you a common goal to work toward.

A Great Haircut: I know what you are thinking.  How in the world does a great haircut help?  Believe me, if you would have told me this before yesterday I too would have said you were crazy.  Yesterday, as Thing 2 and I were heading to the car from lunch, a woman chased me down.  She just loved my haircut and wanted to know who my stylist was.  (Thanks Melissa at Bella Si!!)  We struck up a conversation and I was even able to pray with her right on the spot!  God uses things, even hair cuts, to help us connect to others!  We have a few things in common and I look forward to getting to know her better.

The great thing about making friends in your appointments is that they can stay with you even through a move.  It can be kind of scary to meet new women, but I can tell you my life is much fuller because of them.  In each appointment I still have those special friends that keep in touch and even visit from time to time.  With Facebook, Skype, and FaceTime our kids have the opportunity to stay connected to friends and that has really helped them, especially though this last transition.  I cannot close without mentioning the friends that have stuck with me since high school and college and I am so thankful for them.  They are truly how I have gotten this far.  Friendships whether they are old or new, are how I am able to function as a person!  I am grateful for all of the connections that God has given me over the years!  Here's to many more!

How to Prepare for a Move...

Just a disclaimer here...we are not moving this year!  We, however, have moved many times in our 9 years as officers so I wanted to share some of our experience with you.

6-8 weeks before move
You got the call.  Start working on your brief now.  I now keep the brief up every year so this is not a chore to do when we actually should be packing and taking care of stuff in the corps. 

Go ahead and check about schools and day care facilities in the area.   Many times preschool registration has already begun and it would be wise to get your children in before the move.  If you live close enough to make a visit do that as well. 

Request records for all doctors.  It sometimes takes a few weeks to get this from them so it is better to start early.  I keep a binder with dividers for each member of the family (don't forget your pets!)  I have every record from birth.  That way when I go to the next community I copy every record I have and hand them an entire folder.  More than likely they won't look through it, but they will have the complete case there.  Especially, if you or your child has to go to a specialist.  I do this for dental records, as well as pediatrician. 

Some divisions require you to submit a moving plan to them prior to your move.  This would include all costs associated with your move.  Get quotes from several moving companies/or trucks, and estimate how much you will spend for food and hotel as well as gas on your way to your new appointment.  Submit this to the DC and stick to it!  The farther your new appointment is the more expensive a truck will be, because you pay by mileage.

Reserve Truck or Moving Company

5 weeks
Finish up any doctors visits before you leave and get a copy of any final paper work.  That way you don't have to immediately search for a phsyician and make a hasty decision.  I don't usually take the previous officers word for doctors, until I have thoroughly researched them all.  If you need specialists, then you can go ahead and research those as well.  I go to websites like momapedia because they will have local reviews on phsycians/dentists and even schools and daycare facilities.

Start packing up wall decorations, picture frames, and all non-essentials.  Pack up out of season clothes and coats. 

Finish your brief if you haven't already.

Make a punch list of all repairs/ painting/ and maintenance that needs to be done and make calls.  Schedule with local companies.  This would include:  Carpet cleaning
painting, air duct cleaning, chimney sweep, air conditioner/heater maintenance,  etc.  If you have pets you will want to have apholstry cleaned as well.

Start decluttering, if you haven't used it in this house, you won't use it in the next.

If you haven't already contacted your successor, make sure you do so.  Get some personal information that would be helpful in introducing them to your board, employees and corps members.  Get a picture to help put a face to the name.  Schedule a visit with them if you feel comfortable.

Email copy of brief to DC and incoming officer

4 Weeks
Any rooms that aren't used, go ahead and clean them from top to bottom.  Pack up everything and shut the door.  If you have a garage, use that as your staging area. 

If you are going to paint, I would suggest going muted colors.  Sometimes those that follow you will want to come and pick paint colors themselves.  Have that conversation with them to find out.  There is no reason to pay for something that they be will changed anyway.

Buy new linens (1 set for each bed) white or something nutral that matches the room.  Buy White towels but only one per person.  They will buy what they want when they arrive.  The key is to have necessaties available, but not to go over board so they can buy what they want.  If you need to replace any pots and pans/dishes ect., do that now as well.

Start thinking about your farewell sermon.  Make plans for your farewell (nine times out of ten you plan it anyway.)  We have often times made it on another day besides Sunday, so that the last Sunday is not too long of a day.   Go ahead and make program for farewell.

3 Weeks
Start packing up everything else.  Keep out a few movies and board games to keep the kids busy when you are working.  But now you should only have out the bare minimum.  The less stuff you have makes it easier to clean.  If you are going to have a company come and clean your house, make sure you make that appointment now. 

Contact the officer you are following to work out when you will arrive at the house.  Do the same for the family that is following you. 

Find out what food the family would like to have waiting for them.  Buy a small welcome gift for kids and maybe a nice plant and card for the officers moving in. 

Plan or appoint people in corps to plan and execute the welcome.  Order any food/catering/or cake and arrange for the pick up on the date.

Make arrangements for Local Newspaper to run a story on the new corps officers so that they can be introduced to the community.

Plan welcome Sunday program for new officers.  Sometimes DHQ will invite themselves to come speak at the welcome.  Coordinate that with DHQ.

Send out new address and phone numbers to friends and family

2 Weeks

Clean and pack your office.  Try to start a file on your desk for projects that will be waiting the corps officer when they come.  Copy new officer on any new email correspondance that they would need to be aware of.

If you need to stay in a hotel on your way to your new appointment, or to make the cleaning stick (with kids it would not do me any good to clean if the kids were still around), go ahead and make those reservations.  We usually stay in a hotel on Saturday night.  The kids play in the pool, and I do my last minute walk through with the board or corps member.

Send letter announcing arrival of new corps officer to all pertinant contacts like United Way/ Store Managers for Kettles/ Civic Clubs/ Community Partners

1 Week
Enjoy the last week with your corps people.  Let your kids have final playdates with friends.

Clean and pack up last of the house.  Load onto Truck.  Take unwanted things to thrift store or have yard sale (if you are bold)

Have farewell party and or Sunday.

The important thing is to do things ahead of time so you are not rushed at the end!   I will probably add to this list, so check for updates!  Add you own ideas in comments!